Flaming fellowship
by Imwen
Summary: Pip plans a take over, Frodo does a dunken strip tease, and Aragorn's butt will never be the same what more can i say!?
1. Frodo's strip tease?

Ok like you have never heard this before I do not own the characters but I can borrow them and not give them back! So if you sue me you won't get anything as I own nothing so come and get me. Also like u didn't notice this is my first fanfic PLEASE review, you can flame me to I don't care bring it on *giggles* next chapter is MUCH better  
  
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Aragorn is standing at the top of a hill in the shire." Frodo!!!.....Frodo come here!" Sam runs over to him.  
  
" hullo Mr. Strider sir I'm here to help you instead of Mr., Frodo as he is...........um busy ".  
  
"Well where is Frodo?"  
  
"He is back at" at that moment Frodo stagers over to them giggling.  
  
"Sam what happened to Frodo?"  
  
"Well you see sir that Mr. Pippin gave him to much ale." Aragorn reached down and grabbed Frodo's shirt pulling the hobbit up to be eye level with him. He opens his mouth to ask Frodo what happened when a near by bush shook and started talking.  
  
"If I get everyone drunk I will be able to take over the Shire!!!" Aragorn reached into the bush and pulls out pip.  
  
"Umm hiya there strider ....do you want a drink?" pip says innocently holding out a mug.  
  
Frodo in his drunken state finds all of this very funny and starts laughing hysterically still being held up by his shirt. Aragorn is sick of dealing with the giggling mass of Frodo he turns to pip.  
  
"The whole shire pippin?" Trying to get pip to tell him more. Luckily for him pip is very egger to share his brilliant plan with someone.  
  
"Well u see if I controlled the whole shire everyone will know that I am smart and not just the mindless hobbit from the movie! What they say about how the camera adds ten pounds isn't true it just makes me look 10 times stupider!!!"  
  
Not listening at all Frodo starts laughing again talking to someone that isn't there.  
  
"Frodo?" Aragorn asks trying to figure out what he is doing now completely ignoring pip. Hearing his name Frodo stops talking to himself but continues to giggle.  
  
"Oh hullo there!" now noticing Aragorn.  
  
"I'm Frodo" he tries to reach out and shake his hand but he misses accidentally grabbing the back of pips head but still he shakes his hand pulling pippins hair .  
  
"OOWWW FRODO THAT HURT!"  
  
Sam just snorts at him "It's your own fault for getting Mr. Frodo drunk!"  
  
In his pain pippin blurts out "No I didn't I was planning to but he was already drunk when I got to him".  
  
The other bush now starts giggling, Aragorn shifts Frodo and pip so he's holding them both with one arm and walks over to the bush. Pip is now screaming about how evil creatures are in the bush and will eat him if Aragorn drags him over there in his fury he bites Aragorn but misses and bites Frodo instead. Frodo who had been laughing uncontrollably at pippins screams now screamed in pain and believing it to be one of pippins bush monsters also starts screaming. Ignoring the flailing hobbits Aragorn reaches into the bush and pulls out merry.  
  
Knowing merry will tell his plan just like pippin Aragorn simply asks.  
  
"Merry?"  
  
Merry instantly begins to blurt out his story.  
  
"It's true I did it and I was going to have pip do my dirty work "at this point pippin yells at merry but is completely ignored"For me but he was too stupid and couldn't do it right". "Why u ask !" knowing fully well that no one had asked "well its just not fair that pip is noticed and loved while I am just that other hobbit !!!".  
  
Everyone is now staring at merry even the giggling Frodo and he loves the attention. Pip is very mad now at both being ignored and Merry's insulting rambling. Not wanting to deal with angry hobbits Aragon turns o Sam who has been very quiet and as he is holding the other hobbits they all stare at him. Sam does not like this attention at all and while everyone is staring Frodo escapes Aragorn's arms unnoticed and runs around somehow singing and giggling at the same time. Only when Sam yelps and points behind Aragorn does he turn, Frodo is spinning and for reasons unknown to them taking off his shirt.  
  
Sam collects himself enough to yell.  
  
"FRODO" and run after him Frodo is now finished with his shirt and continues to strip. The group stands for a minute staring at Sam chasing the ever striping Frodo. Gimli, Legolas, Gandalf, and Boromir all walk over to them.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****************************** Oh look at that pretty blue button down there don't you just want to go push it maybe something good will happen! 


	2. Pig pile!

I do not own any of these characters of course you have heard it a MILLION times. The author of the characters is dead so you never will see the person that does own the characters. So don't sue me you'd get nothing anyway because I have nothing! ~*~  
  
"Hi ..um what are you doing"  
  
"Watching Frodo strip why are you here?" They looked at each other and shrugged.  
  
"We don't know the author wanted us here."  
  
"Well I don't feel like watching Frodo and the author is threatening me so I think ill just go climb the tree!" Gimli makes it to the top of the tree no one bothered to tell him he was too heavy to go up that high so the branch he was standing on snapped.  
  
"AGHHHHHHHHH" Gimli landed straddled on a lower branch. Everyone stares at the flailing dwarf so Frodo takes advantage of it and pokes everyone in the butt.  
  
Frodo had managed to strip off everything but his boxers he was still being chased by Sam but he was caring all of Frodo's cloths and couldn't run as fast. Everyone noticed Frodo poking there butts but Gimli was still to amusing to stop watching. Aragorn became Frodo's favorite butt to poke so he completely stopped poking the others and stood directly behind him poking his butt.  
  
Gimli meanwhile had taken out his axe and was chopping the branch that he was on. Gandalf, Legolas, and Boromir being completely ignored by the neglecting author set up a table and play cards. Aragorn, now bright red from the butt poking, grabbed Frodo accidentally dropping the other hobbits.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING"?  
  
At this point Sam catches up and drops everything thinking that someone will hurt Frodo.  
  
"LET GO OF HIM it's not his fault its Pips fault for getting him drunk!!!" Sam pounds on Aragorn's legs in a feeble attempt to make him drop Frodo. Merry also goes completely of the deep end.  
  
"NO IT WAS ME, MY FAULT". Merry joins the assault on Aragorn and not knowing what else to do pip follows Merry's lead and for reasons unknown to him also hits Aragorn.  
  
Legolas and Boromir both accuse each other of cheating.  
  
"YOU HAD THE CARDS UP YOUR SLEAVE "  
  
I DID NOT YOU THEVING ELF!"  
  
While they where fighting Gandalf accidentally sets fire to the table. The table sets Gimli's tree on fire as well. Gimli falls out of the tree right on top of the already annoyed Aragorn. Aragorn and all of the hobbits are trapped under Gimli. Every time someone manages to stand up they are pulled back down by someone in an attempt to get themselves back up.  
  
Gandalf's hat caught fire from a spark, but he likes it to much to take of so he runs around in an attempt to put it out.  
  
Legolas and Boromir's fight has worsened although it doesn't matter anymore as the Gandalf set the cards on fire with the table. The elf has had too much he rips out his bow and shoots Boromir.  
  
"YOU SHOT ME YOU CRAZED ELF YOU SHOT ME!"  
  
"No I didn't "He hides the bow behind his back.  
  
Gandalf running about madly somehow does not notice the large group on the ground. He runs into them falling over and lighting Frodo's cloths on fire (the ones he is not wearing) as well as a small flame on Aragorn's already abused butt.  
  
Boromir points at the arrow sticking out of him and yells at Legolas. He has had too much and Legolas tackles the screaming man Boromir is surprisingly pushed back into the growing pile of creatures on the ground. Legolas and Boromir roll around on top of everyone attacking each other. Gandalf's hat has set fire to Legolas's hair; this is yet to be discovered by the elf.  
  
On the button Aragorn and the hobbits fight to reach the top of the pile. Frodo still occasionally poking people's butts, especially Aragorn's as his is still on fire. Merry is screaming that he hasn't had a line in many paragraphs and upon reading this sentence faints. Pip has forgotten what he was yelling about and is now shouting random words.  
  
"MUSHROOM ICECREAM!"  
  
Sam is still trying to stop Frodo from poking everyone's butts. Boromir laughed at Legolas's flaming hair so hard that he missed the fact that his hair was long and had set his beard on fire. Legolas noticed his hair and began yelling about his 'perfect hair' thinking only that he should stop drop and roll.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mwahaha yes I will end there for now! *giggles insanely* ooooooooh look at the pretty button! See it right down there? Click it its so pretty you know you want to! 


End file.
